Dear Diary

While vacationing in the beautiful northern woods of Michigan I read an article in USA Today about good old fashioned journal/diary writing. 

Click below to view article:
http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2010-07-29-journal29_CV_N.htm



And so the memories of my 'Dear Diary' days came flooding in and I searched for and found a few of my old diaries.

I have a handwritten account of my life from 1982-1990.  It is not a daily account, far from it.  But it provides a glimpse of my younger self.  
 
Here are a few goodies from my 10-12 year-old self: 

I thought listening to Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye was risky and delightful.
For some reason I was amazed by the movie Coal Miner's Daughter.
My record high for Atari's Pitfall was 64,000.
I got a lot of perms.
I had an obsession with super balls.
I desperately wanted to "go" with someone.
I carried a maxi pad in my Le Sports Sac purse.
I must have had hundreds of sleepovers.
Bubble exclamation marks littered my 'Dear Diary' pages.
Purchasing Bonjour jeans was worthy of it's very own entry.
I loved Oddball sweatshirts.

A few things from my tween and teen years:
Every boy was a 'massive babe'.
I used at least one of the following words in every entry:
    "Oh shure", "syke", "bogue", and "style" (sarcastic way of saying I didn't like something)
My braces - the tightening, the wires, the wax for the wires that would shred the inside of my mouth
There were many boys I liked that were 'too popular' for me.
Button fly jeans were cool.

The majority of my teen journaling cannot even be mentioned and will stay hidden behind little gold lock and key.  I had a nasty mouth and was self-centered and obnoxious!  I don't remember being so annoying.  How did my family stand me?

My tunnel vision teenager life revolved around boys, boys, boys and my friends.  

I like him, I love him, I want to go with him, I hate him. 
She's my friend, she's not my friend, she's my friend again. 

It was exhausting just reading it all.  It's no wonder teenagers are always tired.

I have a year and a half until Lovey turns 13.  Maybe revisiting my teen years will provide hope that there will be a normal, loving young adult who walks out the other side of all of that drama. 

I am so not ready for this.      

Fireman's Daughter

I am a fireman's daughter.  I have always said these words with such pride. 

As a kid it was cool to have a dad who was a fireman.  Those awesome red trucks, the equipment, the  uniforms and helmets.  Everyone loves firefighters and I loved telling people about my dad.  

Firefighters are brave and strong. They are heros and everyone knows it.

As a young girl, I got to visit the engine house and sit in the trucks and slide down the poles.  I bragged about it at school.  Kids were impressed.  My dad was cool. 

As a little girl I remember when my dad would return home from a 24 hour shift and I would greet him at the door because.... 1. I couldn't wait to see him and  2. sometimes he brought home the best donuts from a bakery near the engine house where he worked. 

Anyway, I loved his fireman smell.  His clothes and his hair would smell like fire and I loved it.  My brothers and I would ask him to tell us stories about the fires he had fought that night and we would ask if he saved any 'hurt guys'.

Being a firefighter comes with much sacrifice.  If you know a fireman chances are he does side jobs to bring in some extra money.  Although these men run into burning buildings to save people, belongings and even neighborhoods, they are not paid enough.  My dad had many side jobs like window washer, delivery man and airport shuttle service.  He did all of these things in addition to being a hero as a fireman and as a dad.

Firefighters sacrifice time with their families.  There were holidays when my dad was working.  However, I can't specifically remember us having a Christmas morning without him.  I believe the firemen with older children would take those shifts so those with little ones could be with their families.  You know that Christmas morning magic with little children is pretty special and so firemen sacrifice for each other too.  

I knew of the dangers my dad faced being a fireman without anyone ever telling me.  I don't remember my parents talking much about that part of the job in front of us kids.  I guess they wanted to shield us from that.  But of course, when your dad's job requires him to speed an enormous truck through red lights, climb through broken windows, walk up half fallen stairways and through buildings and homes engulfed in flames, well, you figure out pretty quick that his job is risky and dangerous. 

I can remember worrying about my dad when he was at work and being relieved when I would see or hear his truck pull into the driveway.  Which would lead to the greeting at the door, smelling the clothes, and searching for those donuts.

A few days ago, I saw a trailer for a documentary a few producers are trying to get off the ground.  This documentary will bring to light just what goes on during a firefighter's shift.  Although the documentary will be shot in Detroit and will also highlight the plight of that specific city, the core message will apply to all firefighters.

If you are interested in viewing the Burn trailer click on the link below. You won't be disappointed.

http://www.detroitfire.org/


 
I have not been asked to promote this trailer and am not receiving any monetary gain for doing so.
 
Quite simply, as the daughter of a fireman who fought for 33 years to keep a city from crumbling, it is a personal mission to spread the word about these men and women who literally risk their lives to help strangers.      






 
  

My Life in a List

My kids and I are taking a vacation with my family in a few days.  The other night Lovey and I were making a list of all the things we wanted to take, our packing list.  We also were making a list of all the food we needed to buy, our grocery list.  And there's a list of all the things we need to do before we leave, the to-do list. 

I realize I am a list person, they keep me organized and on track.  I keep lists at home and lists at work.

I wonder are there people who don't use lists?  If so, how do they function?

This all got me to thinking about the different types of lists I have kept through the years.  So I did a little brainstorming and realized that the story of my life could be told through the lists I have made.  Below is a list of ten lists I have made during my almost 38 years.  There are many more than ten, but I'll contain it to the most significant ones.  If you piece them all together you'll have a snapshot of me!  Here we go:

My Life In List Form:

1.  Friend list - This list was created and tweaked countless times proving, beyond a doubt, that I am a female.

2.  Boys I've Kissed - I remember making this list in college.  This list was also tweaked and added to a few times, proving to most that I was not a long relationship kind of girl in college.  And I know that looks bad on paper!  But really it's not (really Mom & Dad, really!).  I just found boys needy and clingy.  Still kinda do.

3.  Wedding List - Yes, I was married and had a wonderful wedding.  And at this moment is the very first time I've thought about all the money my parents spent on that wedding and am feeling guilty because...well you'll see when we get to list # 7.

4.  Baby Name Lists - These two lists will let you know that we didn't find out the sex of either of children until they were yanked out of my girlie parts.  There were boy names and girl names for each of them.  These lists might also convince someone that we are Irish, especially the list of boy names.

5.  Class Lists - These types of lists are given to me every August.  These lists have my name printed on the top in BIG BOLD letters so everyone knows I am the teacher.

6.  Food Lists - The countless lists of food I've eaten, water I've drank and exercise I've done will clearly be a sign that I seem to be forever trying to lose a few pounds.

7.  Divorce Stuff List - This list contained questions for my attorney, my accountant and my pro-bono staff, meaning my brothers.  This list turned into a binder, with sections and included the purchase of a 3-hole-puncher.  This 'binder list' will show that with the help of the people listed above, I left no stone unturned.

8.  House Hunting List - I've made this type of list 3 times.  The most recent time was on my own.  It was an exciting and scary list to make.

9.  Credit Card List - OK calling this a "list" is a stretch but this arrives by mail every month and lets me know where all of my money has gone.  This list shows that I spend too much money at Target.

10. Ipod List - This list will not show a strong preference toward any one type of music.  It is a hodge-podge of music genres.

Bonus:  My Blog List - This list will show that I am already addicted to reading blogs and am in much need of some sort of blog reading management schedule. 

If my list of lists worked then you should now know a little bit about me!    

  

Second Chances

The first challenge for ProBlogger's 31DBBB is to think about and try to deliver the purpose for your blog.  The number one reason I created my blog was so I could write my Second Chance Moon story. 

It is a simple but meaningful reminder that second chances can be very powerful.  It is a lesson in not letting a bad decision, one lapse in judgement, one oversight or one moment in time take you down and keep you down.

From there I have just been writing about whatever comes to mind, a little about my kids, a little about being a single mom, a little about family and friends.  And I think when I return to school, my teacher life will creep in here also.  And although I've only been at this for just over a month, I feel like I'll be working this blog for a long time!  My purpose is very broad right now.  I know what it is, but it may take some time for it to shine through my blog. 

In my best effort to clarify my purpose for Second Chance Moon, I present two scenarios, both taking place in elevators:

Scenario 1:

I step onto an elevator with a stranger, who randomly poses the question, "Do you believe in second chances?"
I respond, "Second chances?  As in 'do over' or 'take two'?"
"Yes, that's right", says this strange man while pushing the "3" on the elevator number pad.
"Second chances are the reason I write my blog", I say confidently.  "I want to share decisions I make and experiences I have and how I'm finally realizing there is a place for second chances in my life.  So yes, I do believe in second chances."
Ding...the elevator doors open, strange man steps off, never to be seen again.
"OK that was odd", I think to myself.

Scenario 2:

I am stepping onto the elevator of the Waldorf Astoria in NYC to travel it up to the Penthouse Suite for an "A" List party.  I'm being honored as an international blogging success.

Just as the doors are about to close, a single, attractive, rich, humorous gentleman walks on.
"Hot Damn!" screams the voice in my head.

"I blog about first impressions", he says slyly.  "You know you never get a second chance to make a first impression", he adds, inching a bit closer.

"Well, technically, I suppose that's true", I say while trying to act all cool and hard-to-get, "I mean a first impression is a first impression, but what's wrong with attempting to make a second impression?" 
I pause and he's intrigued, no doubt, so I run with it.

"As a divorced mom of 2, I have experienced many changes and challenges but with encouragement, support and determination I am beginning to open myself up to the idea of second chances. People should be encouraged to take second chances, big and small.  If you give something your all but still mess up the first time, what's wrong with admitting it and trying again?  If you don't like where you're at in life you have the ability to change it.  To stay in a situation that you know is not for you, well, for what?"

The elevator is clipping along toward the Penthouse.  My new friend is nodding in agreement.  So I continue my pitch, while thinking to myself, "Wow, this really works.  Thanks ProBlogger!"

"I write my blog because I understand it can be overwhelming to start over, personally or professionally.  Doubt and fear are two very strong obstacles to overcome.  I hope my readers see me as a realistic writer who shares my everyday experiences, many of which include my personal attempts at second chances and the rewards they can bring.   There is power and strength in numbers and I use my writing as a stepping stone, for myself and for others to take second chances."

"Very nice", says my handsome friend, "Would you like to be my date for the party?"

Ding....the doors open up.  My totally awesome date and I step off the elevator and together live happily ever after.

So there are my elevator pitches.  Some silly person said that should have taken 15 minutes to do.  Not so much.  Assignment writing is much harder than 'off the top of my head' writing.  Bring on Day 2! 

31 DBBB Blog Hop

Are you participating in the SITS 31 Days to Build a Better Blog Challenge?  Add your link below and add this hop to your blog!

I'm Fun! Kind Of....

I swapped kids with one of my BFFs last night.  She took Handsome for the night and I took her daughter to spend the night with Lovey and I.  After movies and popcorn, I was downstairs closing up the house, while the girls were settling in to go to sleep.  Lovey quietly approaches me and says, "Mom, I told Friend to be prepared because my mom is probably going to come up and get in between us in bed and chit chat."  "Oh, OK", I said. *Pause, Pause*  "OK Mom?", she says, giving me a look to make sure I understand this code which means when you come in, don't say I told you to come, just come in on your own.  Got it.

So moments later enters "annoying, silly mom" *wink wink* to get into bed with the girls. The lights are off, the three of us are cozy and the chit chatting begins.  We talked about vacations, why the Ouiji board doesn't work, the fast approaching beginning of middle school and then the conversation turned to Lovey's bed.

"When did I get this bed?" Lov asks me.  "Well, you were 4 or 5 I think."  "Let's see", I continue, "You first had your crib, of course, which you were in until you were 2 1/2 or so and then you had your bed on the floor", I continue on, and then feel a jab in my ribs from Lovey's finger and since my eyes have now adjusted to the darkness I see she is giving me the finger across the throat back and forth sign AKA "Shut It Off Mom".  OhhhhK. So talking about bed progression is off limits with my Tween.  Hmmmmm......good to know.

So then we start talking about Friend's pet fish which leads us to the topic of Sesame Street and Elmo's World and how Elmo's fish, Dorothy, always asked the questions that started the topics for that segment of the show. 

For example, Elmo would say, "Dorothy wants to know how to ride a bike."  "Good question Dorothy!"  And then Elmo's World would be about kids riding bikes.  I'm sure your following.

So, I say to the girls, "Dorothy wants to know why tweens are happy one minute and crying and mad the next.  "Good question Dorothy!"  Then, "Dorothy wants to know if either one of you brushed your teeth tonight because something stinks."  "Good question Dorothy!"  And another, "Dorothy wants to know who do you girls like like?"  "Good question Dorothy!" The girls were giggling and laughing.  I was a hit! 

With all of the good fun, thirty minutes had passed and I started to get up and Lovey says "Not yet Mom, just 2 more minutes?"  "Lovey, I'm tired", I say.  "But Mom, your fun", she says. *cricket noise, cricket noise*  "Kind of", she adds. 

This girl is good.  A compliment to the mom she really, really loves with a quick recovery to maintain her true Tween status.  Nice work Lovey.  

Wiener Talk

Boys and their wieners....  Handsome is like any other boy in many ways including his need to promote his wiener.  Usually around 9 a.m. I'll hear the call, "Attention!"  This means a few things.  One, that he is awake and will be ordering up his morning cup of chocolate milk and two, that he is saluting his attentive wiener.  I don't hear the command every morning, but enough times for me to wonder what I'm supposed to be saying to him about it.

The first time this "happened" he excitedly called me upstairs, "Mom come here!"  I entered his room to find him flat on his back, hands on his hips and well, you know the rest and he yelled out "Attention!".   Oh boy.

First I laughed, I mean it was really funny and totally caught me off guard.  Imagine all the grown up men who do the same thing each morning.  You know they do. 

He's asked a few times "Why is it doing that?"  And I never know what to say. I've tried "Because you have to go to the bathroom" and "That's just something it does after you've been asleep for awhile."  Seriously, I don't know?? 

I even demonstrated for him how to lean in over the toilet when it is 'like that' so he doesn't pee all over the bathroom.  

I'm certain this is not my territory and I've said some pretty stupid things like "OK Buddy, put it away" and "Ignore it and it'll go away."  *Laughing*  Two phrases I remember using when I was married.....minus "buddy" plus "a-hole".   

And lately I've noticed that this situation is coming 'up' at times other than early morning.  A few nights ago, he appeared after removing his baseball uniform which included his sports cup and "Bam!", there it was.  He was so proud.  Interesting how the pride is not taught, it's just instinctual.  

Again, I told him to go to the bathroom and then just sit down and it would go away. Really, I have no idea what I'm supposed to be saying.  I'm totally cool with being up front and open with him about all of this stuff, but he's just 7 years-old, so I'm not sure what I should or shouldn't be saying at this point.

At least I know that since he's still flaunting and parading it in front of his mom and his sister, he's still my little boy, because he doesn't know any better.  So that part, I'm happy about.  Maybe when I stop hearing about it is when I really need to worry.