The story behind 'Second Chance Moon'

There was a full moon that Christmas Eve night. My children were excited as we gathered the carrots and reindeer dust to leave on the driveway for our late night visitors. The sky was clear and dark, except for the brilliant beam of the moon. However, I was not the one to notice it.

We stepped off the front porch. My daughter walked a few steps ahead. I was behind her holding my 2-year-old son’s hand. He slowly raised his chubby, little finger up to the sky and says, “Mamma, look at the moon."

“OK”, I said, “Come on, we have to get the food out for the reindeer." I moved him along quickly toward the driveway.

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My heart sinks as I watch this video. I am standing at the kitchen counter four years later, watching this lost moment through the lens of my camcorder.

OK????? We have to get the food out for the reindeer?????
Were we doing our chores that night? Did we have a herd of reindeer that we tended to daily? My stomach is tight as I blankly stare off, the way you do when your mind is drenched in thought. Deep sadness takes over. I feel as though I’ve lost something. I begin to cry and the tears will not stop. What kind of mother am I?

This video haunts me for days. I feel an overwhelming sadness. The image of that little finger pointing toward the night sky plays over and over in my head. My "busy, busy, no time for distractions" attitude plays over and over in my head.

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It had been less than a week since I had watched ‘the video’ when my kids and I were walking toward the car one evening after a school function. My daughter walks a few steps ahead. I am holding my 6-year-old son’s hand. “Look at the moon, Mom”, he says.

This child is not moon obsessed in any way and I am certain this is only the 2nd time he has ever said those words to me.

My feet stop, my stomach tightens. This is my second chance. This is my Second Chance Moon. We stand and stare at the moon. “It’s beautiful.”, I say. “Look how big it is!”, I say. “Do you know when the moon looks like this it’s called a full moon?”, I ask him. “It looks so big and bright, doesn’t it?”, I ask. What else? What else can I say about this moon?? I want this moment to last forever. I want to stand here with his little 6-year-old hand in mine forever and stare at this gorgeous moon.

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I’m not sure how I got us home that night. My mind was full of the image of that moon and my heart was filled with joy and thanks. As I write this, my son most certainly does not remember that moon. I will never forget that moon.

I remember my Second Chance Moon when I feel crazed with life, which is often. It reminds me to slow down. I try to relax, watch closely and listen well.

Thank you God, message received.