Being a child of divorce sucks. For sure. I know this not as a child of divorce myself, but as the mother of children of divorce. Your mom and dad live in separate houses. That sucks. You have separate vacations. Not ideal. Your family pictures are with one parent, not two, makes me sad. I hate all of this for my kids.
However, being a child of divorce doesn't mean you're going to be screwed up. Really it doesn't. Didn't hear that? Let me state once more, being a child of divorce does not mean you're going to be a screw up.
So when I recently saw a comment that said (and I'm paraphrasing so ignore the quotes) "you can pick out the 1 parent household children from the 2 parent household children", it made my blood boil. I'm sorry, for real, I could have totally kicked ass right then.
Do my children have worries, fears, confusions, and sadness because of divorce? Yes. They. Do. They have had to deal with emotions that many children have yet to experience. It's not fair, I'll be the first one to say that and I totally believe that it is not fair. I'm even pissed at "their parents" for getting a divorce. But, can you "tell" they have divorced parents, good Lord I hope not
When I first saw that comment I was mad and offended and certain in my mind that no stranger would be able to "tell" my children had divorced parents. But as I thought about it, I began to wonder. Can you "tell"? Are there apparent signs that my children have two homes, two beds, and that when they get a hug and kiss 'good night' from mom, they don't get one from dad? And when they get a hug and kiss 'good night' from dad, they don't get one from mom? I hope not.
I try so hard to make my kids' lives as happy and loving as possible. I know they miss out on certain things and I know they wish their parents weren't divorced. I wish their parents weren't divorced, too, for them not for me. That's a whole other story.
And I truly believe kids with divorced parents can be just as happy as kids with married parents. And whose to say kids with married parents are under a healthy and loving roof? We do the best we can and I pray that my kids are growing up feeling happy, loved and blessed. I feel happy, loved and blessed because of them, that is for certain.